"Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next." Frederick Buechner
The pastor shared this quote during today's message. From that moment on, I was riveted. I've had a river running down my face this weekend.
Hubby moved from giving me encouraging pep talks to looking at me with puzzled worry. The children reassured me that it was ok that I wouldn't be bringing home more bacon; I assured them that I wasn't crying about money. (well, maybe I was, a bit) The thing that hit me was the realization that I was grieving. Having done it enough throughout my life, I recognize the markings. For me, grief includes the presence of tears, immediate and hot, when tears are completely out of context. I was starting to be concerned about the state of my heart....and then Frederick Buechner set me free.
This is my truth, August '09. It isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I do have hope that a little sunshine, mixed with tears, will reveal one incredible optical illusion.